The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful feelings of destination, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership have a peek at these guys to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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